what if?

hey all...i know i know im such a slacker. i just cant help it unfortunately so get used to the random blogs that just show up out of nowhere weeks after the previous one.

ive actually missed just writing about my thoughts so as i am sitting doing nothing on a saturday night, i thought why not? first of all i wanted to share with you lyrics from a song that i listen to daily. its a great song ... and yes it is country.. sorry to my brothers.. i know they will be very disappointed in me. but what can i say, i am my fathers daughter, haha. and mark even though it is a country song.. it has alot of meaning!...so READ it...

Tommy Shane Steiner~ What if she's an angel?

There's a man standing on the corner With a sign sayin "will work for food"
You know the man You see him every morning
The one you never give your money to
You can sit there with your window rolled up
Wondering when the lights going to turn green
Never knowing what a couple more bucks In his pocket might mean

What if he's an angel sent here from Heaven
And he's making certain that you're doing your best
To take the time to help one another
Brother are you going to pass that test
You can go on with your day to day
Trying to forget what you saw in his face
Knowing deep down it could have been his saving grace
What if he's an angel

There's a man and There's a woman
Living right above you in apartment G
There's alot of noise coming from the ceiling
And it don't sound like harmony
You can sit there with your TV turned up
While the words and his anger fly
Come tomorrow when you see her with her shades on
Can you look her in the eye

What if she's an angel sent here from heaven
And she's making certain that you're doing your best
To take the time to help one another
Brother are you going to pass that test
You can go on with your day to day
Trying to forget what you saw in her face
Knowing deep down it could have been her saving grace
What if she's an angel

A little girl on daddy's lap
Hiding her disease with a baseball cap
You can turn the channel
Most people do
But what if you were sitting in her daddy's shoes...

Maybe she's an angel
Sent here from Heaven
And she's making certain you're doing your best
To take the time to help one another
Brother are you going to pass that test
You can go on with your day to day
Trying to forget what you saw in her face
Knowing deep down it could have been her saving grace
What if she's an angel
.................................................................
The first time i heard that song.. i was almost in shock. its one of those songs that just hits you. It changed my whole perspective on everything in life and how i go about doing everything on a day to day basis. It made me think about all the people i have passed who needed a hand, when i was in too much of a rush to stop and help. It made me think about whether God makes tests like that on earth for us. To see if we are doing our job, and doing the best we can do to put other people before ourselves. Its kinda nerve racking, like being caught by your parents when your slacking off from helping out around the house or being caught by your boss taking a break instead of working, except in this case with God there is a whole lot more at stake. And just reminded me that he is watching. I guess it just made me think about when i get to heaven some day, i want God to say to me that i did all i could do, not that i did just enough to get by. Just a thought..

Let me know your thoughts.. Thanks for reading:)

life choices.

sorry guys. I know its been a while. but im just so lazy lately. Too tired to do anything with my life really. these 530 am wake up calls are killing me. not literally. but seriously by the end of the day....all i wanna do is lay on the couch. can you blame me? anyways. its the fact that i am writing one now that counts really.

to get this blog going i need to tell you guys that i have been really stressed out lately. frustrated. confused. and anxious. i dont know what has gotten into me lately but i have been thinking alot about what i want to do with my life. where i want to go. what i want to do. who i want to be. what i want to be remembered for some day. i think that maybe it was grandmas funeral that really hit me. Hearing everyones respect for her and stories about how much of an amazing person she was. and how she will never be forgotten. i just couldnt help but think about whether my life was really on track? i know that ive been working on it. with my job and being independent and attempting to be more mature...Keri no comments there k? haha but i just honestly dont know what to do with my life. there is so much ahead of me that i feel like maybe i settled down into a job too quick. maybe i was to eager to get away from home and be on my own. or maybe all this stress is really the realization that i have to pay bills now. haha but it just seems like there is so much i could do. i could go back to school. move home.(i know dad would love that) i could travel somewhere. anywhere really.italy or mexico or greece..oooo i think i would love hawaii...k side tracked. i could also just get a new job...like at the td bank... eh alvaro? i just feel like i havent really experienced all of life. and i feel like i am too young to be completely settled down into a career. its like i am being pulled in a million different directions and not sure where to go or which way is the right way. its not something that you can easily get off of your mind either. my life is up in the air and i hate the unknown.

this is a life decision. which honestly i hate making, so some help would be nice please. if someone could just plan my life out for me...that would be greatly appreciated...come on mom and dad.. its what youve always wanted :P haha Give me some advice guys cause im going crazy thinkin about it!

work is work right?

k so i finally have a blog...yay! Haha i know you all are so excited. But not really. anyways. ..my first blog..here it goes..something thats been on my mind lately..

i just got done work and i had that question asked that seems to be asked all to frequently lately, how was work? Every time i answer with the same answer, work was work. then i go off on to my rant about how hard i have it.. Well what kinda answer is that?? I have realized that i need to quit my complaining. just because work was long and im tired and im stressed out the whole time im there, doesnt mean i have the right to complain. shouldnt i feel lucky? Really been thinkin alot about that lately. Especially the other day when i saw a pillow laying on a bench on main. someone had slept there. A concrete bench. i wanted to do something and i felt horrible. i have just been realizing alot more lately that i really have nothing to complain about. There are tons of people every night on the streets who probably wish they had a job. A place to stay. the family and support. i take all these things for granted..one of my many flaws.. and i know my life isnt the greatest, im not saying that but i just know there are alot things i should be appreciating but really am not. i was just thinkin about it and its something i need to work on. i also need to work on reaching out to those people who are struggling, but im scared. any words of advice?

thanks for reading guys, let me know any wise ideas on how i can quit my complaining and reach out.