Do you ever feel like things will never change. Like no matter how hard you try to change, who you were crawls right back into who you are trying to be. Ive been struggling with that alot lately. I dont think that its any secret that i have not been the greatest person in the past. I did alot of things I probably shouldnt have done and wasted alot of time on meaningless things that i thought were so important at the time but really were not. And if things werent going the way i wanted them too..then obviously the world was coming to an end. I guess you could say that i was a little bit selfish. I am not saying im going back to my old ways..haha because it was so long ago. I am just saying that some days I still feel like I am not focused on whats most important in life. And i get upset over little things that really dont matter. And i worry about things that really dont matter. And because of that i say things that later i think, well that was a jerk thing to say. Its been happening to me alot lately. So im thinking maybe i should create a sensor or something. You know like on tv were they bleep things out, except when im saying something thats inappropriate or rude it will bleep me out. or i guess i could just quit talking altogether. the last one is probably more realistic. But that would be a little difficult. Anyways.. I am trying really hard to focus on whats important in life and trying to be positive and its just been difficult lately because there has been quite a few discouraging things going on that make it difficult to have a bright outlook on life. So i dont really know where im going with this. Just feel like who i used to be keeps popping up out of nowhere and reminding me of things in my past. And i know people say who you were makes you who you are today but some days i just wish i could forget altogether and start over fresh. Or is that impossible?
2 comments:
i feel the same way.
i think it is possible, but it is going to take longer than we want it to!
Hang in there honey! God always allows us to start over fresh, it is a gift He gives you and me. Memory is what helps us remember, so that we can move on and be better because of who we were and who God is! Those memories are your learning tools for wisdom and a better future. I am proud of who you are and who you are becoming! It thrills me to see you letting God use you and work in you! Hang on for the ride. I love you so! Mommy
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